to be continued...

What do you do when you hate the position that you put yourself in? It was my entire fault. I knew I had something good but me being scared of anything good to come into my life, I automatically had to shut out. You can’t help what happens in your past, you can only help what happens in the future. Now I am standing in my own mess, lost and vulnerable. At this point, I am still trying to figure out how to solve my own mistake. I know what I want now but it’s not up to me anymore. I put myself here and now I have to deal with the consequences, whatever they may be. If the outcome isn’t how I wanted then, I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

Time and Change

Lately I have been in this mood where I can’t seem to decide what I want out of life, love or basically anything. I say one thing and I will try my hardest to stick to it but then my mind will change. I always thought change was a good thing, until it gets to the point where you can’t even make up your mind. I want to be so many things, I want to do so many things that I feel like I don’t have enough time in this lifetime of mine. What do you do when you don’t have enough time? Well, I think I came up with a solution, however, I don’t know if it’s the right answer. Going through life is one thing and getting what you want out of it is another, so why not just live life day by day and love each and every minute of every day? Someone I had hurt, someone I had cared about told me these wise words. For your career, we all should have some sort of plan but for life? Life is about not knowing, about taking chances, whether you are ready for it or not. It’s the surprise that keeps life so interesting. I had made the mistake of planning everything out in my life. Who was supposed to be in it and who couldn’t “fit the picture.”

A lot can happen when you get out of a long relationship, you can lose yourself, and forget about everything that happened for the past three years. To me, I was afraid I wouldn’t find someone that will make me feel that way again. But ladies, we are wrong. How is it possible that one person can change the way we feel about ourselves and about other people? Whether someone has hurt us, or it didn’t just work out, they were meant to be in our lives to teach us a lesson.

Whether every girl admits it or not, we like it when a guy puts us in our place. That is something I never had. Yes I like the nice guys, but I like to know when I am wrong about some things and that is exactly what happened. Finally someone stopped me from making a huge mistake, telling me I was wrong for doing this and yet I was the lucky girl. I finally saw how I had been acting and couldn’t bare to be this type of person any longer. I opened myself up, let life take me and now I am the happiest girl in the world. If this person reads this blog and knows it is about you, this is a thank you.