Ever since I was a little girl I always went to church with my father. I guess you can say it was our thing to do together. Being the stubborn child I was I never really wanted to go and I always seemed to give my dad such a hard time going. Now, I look back and see this new grown woman who wants to go to church more often. At first I did it for my father, for his piece of mind because I just wanted to see him happy but I still wasn’t feeling it. Today, something in me changed. From everything I have been through, everything I kept bottled up just came pouring out. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I couldn’t help but think to myself, “I am the girl who is crying at church” who would have known. I felt him, God, his presence within me. I was so moved I just didn’t know what to do emotionally and spiritually. All I knew was what I had to do. I had to make peace with myself. Let go of everything that caused hatred and anger. The priest preached to us saying that you need to go to where the pain is, there you will find the love, the vulnerability and from there you will reach healing. I have reached Healing. Brennan Maning said, “We unwittingly project onto God our own attitudes and feelings toward ourselves… but we cannot assume that. He feels about us the way we feel about ourselves- unless we love ourselves compassionately, intensely, and freely.” Sometimes we feel we are unlovable but who says that you aren’t? God loves you unconditionally, he desires us. He knows us more than anyone. He loves us for who are and not for who we should be. “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. “ John 15:9-17. Faith is what will keep us alive and happy and most importantly, full of love. One must love oneself before one can love you. Love is such a beautiful thing, whether it worked out with someone or it didn’t. Someone once told me, “sometimes you just can’t get up on your own, you need help.” Someone helped me this time. God helped me. So to all of my viewers, love. Love like you don’t care, love because its beautiful. Love because it is healthy.

Lesson Learned

There comes a time when you just have to sit down and ask yourself, what is it you really want. Not what your best friend wants or what your family thinks is best for you but what you want for yourself. I thought I wanted love but then that didn't quite work out as I hoped it would. Which taught me one of the biggest lessons I have learned yet. Going after my career and my dreams and making them reality is more than any guy can give me. My mother, my best friend, told me something that I won't be able to forget, "One's pride will always be more important than someone else's love." You matter more than anyone in this world and you will only be there when someone leaves you. However, the beauty of being so sure about a certain decision you've made, you learn a lot about yourself. I was in this situation not too long ago and I learned so much about myself that I knew I wasn't the same person anymore. I grew into such a strong determined woman, there was nothing or no one that was going to hold me back from life. Yet letting go was not an easy task, everything worth doing is difficult. What makes anything worth doing is knowing that you will benefit and grow from the outcome. So, I leave you with this quote from Tom Hanks, "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great."